A True Loss
by TheRoyalAddict
Summary: The Royal-Exploring what could of happened if Gordon Ormerod had of died in S08E12
1. Chapter 1

Yes,, he was older than her but they were still in the prime of their lives & had everything to live for; four beautiful children that they loved dearly, good jobs and a stable & loving marriage. That day had started off as normal as ever but now Jill's world had been tipped upside down.

Half an hour before hand her and her colleagues had been outside officially opening the new casualty department. Gordon had been missing from the ceremony but they'd put that down to urgent work. Not for a moment did any of them imagine that his life would be in danger. When he'd flung through the casualty doors, scissors penetrating his internal organs, & slid down the wall, it was by far the worst scene Jill had ever seen. It was so much to take in. They'd all scurried around trying to help him as fast as they could. Once they'd got him inside on a bed Mr Rose had quicjly wheeled him away into theatre.

The last short conversation Jill had with her husband before he was taken away will be one that stays with her forever.

'You're going to be alright, you'll see. I love you!'  
'I love you too'

And then he was wheeled away. Her weak, breathless & pale husband was wheeled into theatre and put under aesthetic. He never regained consciousness.

Jill stood at the theatre door peering through the window watching ever little movement that Mr Rose did. She prayed, by God did she pray. She knew how serious Gordon's injuries were & his chances of survival were slim but clung onto the fact that he was being operated on by the best surgeon in Elsinby. But no matter how much Jill prayed the inevitable happen. Gordon's internal injuries were too severe, irreparable in fact. He fought for as long as he could but just half an hour after that terrible scene his tired body gave up.

Jill didn't need to be told, she could tell from everybody's faces; the teary eyes, the anger & true sense of lose that her husband was gone. Without thought she charged into the operating theatre and collapsed next to her husband, holding his head in her arms. And whilst she kneeled there, crying with all her heart, the reality of the situation dawned on her. Her Husband & father of her children was gone. How on earth was she going to explain this to the eldest two who had already lost their biologic mother. How was she going to explain to the youngest two what had happened to their daddy? But most of all, how was she going to carry on without the man she loved she very much beside her? No one could understand why the respectable Dr Gordon Ormerod had been attacked. Why had his life been snatched away when he had so much to live for?


	2. Chapter 2

Time passed so slowly since Gordon had died. Jill had been living in a daze. That dreadful night she sat with Gordon for hours, talking to him & saying all the things he wished she'd said before. When she eventually did go home Tom & Katie were still awake, eagerly awaiting the return of their dad & Jill. As she sat in her car, looking through the living room window watching Tom & Katie so happy, she knew that she was about to go in there and tear their world apart. She had no choice. Jill knew the sooner it was done, the better.

Once Jill had got into the house, put her bag away & prepared herself, she sat down in the living room with the two eldest. Katie was quick to ask where Gordon was. 'Where's daddy Jill? He said he'd be home in time to tuck us into bed.' Whilst holding back the tears she tried to explain where their daddy was.

'Daddy won't be home tonight. There was a fight at work & your brave dad tried to stop someone getting hurt but he hurt himself instead. You remember Mr Rose don't you? Well he tried to help dad but couldn't. He cut himself badly. Dad won't be coming home tonight...or any other night for that matter' her voice started to break up & tears streamed down her face. 'but don't you worry because he's safe now & he's watching over you to make sure you're all alright'

Confusion crossed their faces 'Dads not coming home again? ...He's dead, isn't he Jill?' Questioned Katie who then burst into tears followed by Tom. There was no need for more words; they both knew what had happened. Jill pulled them close to her and together they sat hugging one another, all crying. The one comfort Jill took from all this was that Jonathon & Aishling would be too young to understand what had happened to their dad. It was now down to Jill to keep his memory alive.


	3. Chapter 3

An inquest was held into the death of Gordon, although there was never any doubt about the cause of death; a stab wound, penetrating some of his major organs. Up until that point he'd always been such a healthy man.

His funeral went ahead and the amount of people that attended was astounding. Not only family, friends & colleagues but also patients & people he barely knew. It was clear that Dr Ormerod was highly respected and the saddening loss was felt by everybody.  
It was a short service. His favourite songs were played and speeches were read out, one from Mr Rose talking about what a fantastic surgeon he was and how lucky he'd been to meet Jill, and one from Jill herself.

'Gordon was more than my husband, he was my life. He's given me more than any other person possibly could. I will cherish our marriage for ever & remember all the excellent times we had. I won't forget the first time we met, as colleagues and friends but from that moment I knew he was special. I never imagined for a moment that one day we'd get married, that I'd become a step-mum to two amazing children, a mother to our child and then adopt a daughter. I'll talk about him every day and teach them what an amazing man their father was. His memory will live on in us. I will always love you Gordon. Sleep tight my darling'

It was said with such love and tension in her voice as she held back her tears. How she held it together no one will ever know. Once she'd said what she had to say she walked over to the coffin and placed a hand on it whilst whispering. One can only guess what was said but it no doubt was words of love to her dear Husband.

Gordon was laid to rest in the most beautiful of spots; where at just the right time of the day the sun shone down to create a beautiful scene. Jill knew that he'd of approved. His headstone was simple but exquisite. On it, it had engraved his date of birth and death along with 'Here lies Gordon Ormerod. Dedicated husband to Jill. Loving father to Katie, Tom, Jonathon & Aishling. The best Doctor 'The Royal' ever had. Gone too soon'  
And it was true, he was gone too soon. The Ormerod family had had so much to live for; family holidays, Christmas' and other special occasions. Now they'd have to be celebrated without him. Gordon would never see Jonathon start school or walk Katie down the aisle. He'd never hear Aishling call him 'daddy' or see Tom pass his exams. They, as a family, would never get over what they'd lost but knew he'd want them to carry on and live life to its fullest. The wonderful Dr Gordon Ormerod was gone, forever.


	4. Chapter 4

Life as they knew it had changed for eternity. For Jill there was nobody there to cuddle up to in bed, nobody to help with the children but most of all, no Husband there to support her. For the children there was no male figure to tuck them into bed and read them stories, to play with in the garden or to reassure them that everything was okay.

It was also difficult for everybody at 'The Royal' to adjust to working life without Gordon. He had been the senior partner and had worked there for years, taking the once small hospital from strength to strength. With Jill's approval, a new Doctor was appointed but shared a room with Dr Ellis. It was understood that nobody should disturb Gordon's room and that it had to be left as it was, for now at least. A locum Dr was also bought in to cover for Jill, she took a substantial amount of time off to sort out home life. There were nights when the children, especially Tom & Katie, were unsettled and just needed Jill to sit with them. They loved talking about their dad.

'Jill do you remember when dad got himself covered in paint?' questioned Tom one quiet night

'Before Jonathon was born? When he was decorating the nursery? Oh I remember that. We couldn't stop laughing could we whilst your dad stood trying to look angry. I think more paint ended up on him than the actual walls!' Discussed Jill, tears in her eyes accompanied with a smile; just one of many conversations they had about Gordon.

It was tough for Jill, not only because she'd lost ehr husband, but also because she now had to raise 4 children singlehanded, cook meals and do the housework, things which Gordon always used to help out with. She also knew that soon she'd have to add her working life into the mix. Jill missed sitting own at the end of the day and talking, now she was lucky if she got a 5 minute break; constantly running from one child's room to the next trying to get them settle. Out of the two of them, Gordon had always been the best at getting all of them off to sleep. A job that took him 5 minutes took her half an hour instead.

Slowly they were adjusting to life without their amazing father. He'd lost his life whilst trying to save another; they'd always remember him for his bravery. As long as stuck together they could face the world & its hurdles with the knowledge one day they would all be united together again.


	5. Chapter 5

_Several months later_

It had been 4 months since Gordon's horrific stabbing which ultimately cost him his life. Jill and the children had gradually adjusted to life without him but there was still a huge part of their lives missing where he was meant to be. It had been struggle and was still an ongoing battle but they were adjusting to the male absence in the house.

Jill had returned to work a month and a half later making the juggling of family logistics even harder. There was tom and Katie who were missing their father considerably and couldn't get their heads around his death. There was Jonathon, who at the tender age of 16 months didn't understand what had happened to his father. And then there was Aishling, at just 7 months old she would never know the difference. Life was much harder for Jill now. Each day she had to get up early, get herself dressed then get Tom and Katie out of bed and bargain with them to get dressed and ready for school. She was then tasked with getting a usually grumpy Jonathon up and getting him ready and then dressing Aishling and feeding her. If she was lucky the au pair would arrive early and give her a hand. The whole process, on a good day, would take just under two and a half hours. Jill then had to take the older two to school where getting them to leave the car was a difficult job; they constantly worried about losing another parent. By the time Jill finally got to work she was ready to go back to bed!

And although they were getting on with their lives they also missed Gordon considerably. Tom and Katie missed his funny jokes and the fantastic stories he used to make up when he was trying to get them to go to bed. Jonathon missed his father's loving hold. Jill missed her companion; someone to share the day with, to bump into at work and to cuddle up to in bed.

But it wasn't just his family that missed Gordon, it was his work colleagues as well. Sister Bridget felt empty; it was no secret that she'd always _liked _him. Matron missed the sensible male Doctor around the hospital and Lizzy missed his cheery smile first thing in a morning.

Gordon was missed but it was vital they carried on. Jill had every intention of bringing the children up in a manner that Gordon would have beamed with pride. His memory lived on in the five of them.


End file.
